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IT'S A FACT that I've always been tragically attracted to BL products. I started out with Minis, and worked down the list. But, and this is a big ‘but’, I’d never owned a Crab. My endless trawling of eBay, 'Classic Cars For Sale' and 'Classic Car Weekly' also showed a worrying trend - the prices of many of the cars that used to be difficult to give away were on the rise.
In a rare moment of clarity, I realised that there was a Landcrab shaped hole in my life, and more importantly, if I didn’t fill that hole soon, it might soon be beyond the means of my meagre budget. The search was on. And it lasted all of two weeks.
A 1975 MkIII appeared on eBay for the second time - it had disappeared halfway through its first listing. The dodgy photos showed very little but the fact that it had MoT and tax to the end of the year proved irresistible.
Buying the car broke all the rules - most of which I’ve committed to print in the name of common sense countless times over during my career. But the biggest mistake was going with Simon, who is the only person in the world who has The Illness worse than me. You’re meant to take along a knowledgeable friend, someone who can stop your heart ruling your head. In short, someone who will stop you making unwise, rash purchases. His sage advice? “Let’s buy it.” That was before we’d even got out of the car.
Despite the suspicious pool beneath the radiator, the flood damaged interior, the rust, the patches of missing paint and dodgy primer, and the get-it-through-the-MoT repairs on the sills, I was soon taking the full asking price out of my wallet and handing it over. And the truth was I couldn’t have been more chuffed. I was a Landcrab owner.
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Above: It didn't take long to get the Crab's few ailments sorted out. As suspected, the radiator was leaking but was removed in an hour and packed off to Hereford Radiators. Below, left to right (click for a better view): the radiator returned in rude health and complete with a new shiny coat of black paint. The front wheels were whipped off as I suspected one of the callipers was binding. The truth was a little more shocking - I've seen thicker shims than the material left on the pads. The anti-squeal shims had been put in a very random way causing uneven wear. New pads from the local factors have sorted it.
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Have I repented at my leisure? Well, no. The car isn’t without its problems, but it also has plenty of positives. A huge folder of paperwork came with the car. The vendor handed it over almost as an afterthought - I shudder to think what would have happened to it if he hadn’t stumbled over it at the last minute.
The original bill of sale, Passport To Service, old MoTs and bills are all there. The real gem is a little note book in which the first owner listed every penny he spent on the car, down to the last drop of petrol he used. In the first years, he would average out the costs and noted at the end of the first year that the Crab had cost 4p per mile.
A lot of bodywork and a respray (costing £140 - no wonder it’s falling off in sheets…) were carried out in 1994/95. The last entry is for 22 June 1995, with the mileage duly noted at 28,800, “See about brakes.”
So far, the few problems the Crab arrived with have been sorted quickly and without fuss. I’m determined that the 1800 won’t slip into project status while it still holds a current MoT and has tax on the windscreen.
The pool beneath the radiator was traced back to a split on the joint of the header tank and a tiny hole in the core. The old school radiator was removed, taken over to the equally old school Hereford Radiators (cash only, and everybody is called ‘Sir’). Repaired, returned and refitted the next day.
The front brakes have had new pads (off the shelf from the local motor factors) and I’ve recovered the top dash rail which had been ‘repaired’ by a previous owner. Shabby decrepitude I can live with - in fact, I positively enjoy it - but bodges just annoy me.
The bodywork will need to be sorted out but now I’ve discovered just how much fun the Crab is to drive, I’m very reluctant to take it off the road, even for the shortest of times. I’m planning to break out the Waxoyl and try and halt any corrosion in its tracks while I figure out a way of returning the Cosmic Blue paint to a presentable state without losing months of motoring. Well, that’s the plan…
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Above: The Crab gets the seal of approval from the MiniMail cat. Comfy.
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Above: No, we weren't joking. The Crab now has a set of woody panels. And before anyone starts crying, they're removable thanks to the wonder of magnetism...
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